Friday, March 14, 2014

Thug life

Thursday night, I was amped up. Hair in a ponytail, sunglasses on, windows down, music up loud and probably driving a little too fast. I was headed to a Crossfit workout that was sure to hand my ass to me and I was riding high on anticipation.

I pulled up behind my son's best friend who was stopped in his truck at a stop sign with his girlfriend riding shotgun. This kid personifies down home witty America like no other...and his sense of humor is fun to play with. So, I did. I honked. He flipped me off and I did it back with both hands, laughing out loud. He turned right. I turned the same direction. He was driving ridiculously slow and flipped me off again when I easily caught up with him. It crossed my mind that he might not recognize me...times have changed and things have changed...mainly and quite importantly, the very car I drive. The road was wide so I pulled off to the right to pass him ( illegal) and he floored it, yelling something incomprehensible but sure to be extremely colorful. We quickly ran out of road and I wasn't letting off. He did. I pulled in front of him. More hand gestures on his part and me laughing maniacally at this point...he was SO MAD!!! A couple of miles later, he's driving normal a few cars back and all is calm. I realize that I have his mother's Farberware butcher knife still sitting on my dash from a separate incident a couple of weeks prior. We approach a stop sign. He pulls next to me. Grinning my consiprational grin, I pause the music and hold the butcher knife in my fist...where he can see it clearly through the open window.


Not him.

Girlish screams prevail followed by a high pitched accusation that I am a crackhead before he burned rubber and was out of sight in no time flat.


I haven't stopped laughing since.

I'm laughing RIGHT NOW.

I removed some distinctive items from my car and I'm keeping a low profile. I truly feel bad for this guy who obviously needed to go home and change his undies. But I can't stop laughing at how OUT OF CHARACTER this whole thing was for me and how hilarious it seems to me.

Never a dull moment...

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