Monday, January 25, 2010

Dinner, Death and Destiny

♥Another new recipe: Bourbon Chicken over brown rice...and a house full of peeps who loved it.

♥Dexter, my new crush. Let's not discuss the black case of killing tools...

♥Today's message that can't be ignored or denied:

Tara, the trick is learning to maintain an unwavering focus upon your desired end result, your completed dream, the "finish line," without insisting upon, or even contemplating, its means of attainment, no matter how logical, obvious, or tempting it may seem. That's all you ever really need to know, Tara.


The Universe


♥The house smelling of curry and incense while three generations of Geminiis bonded over Slumdog Millionaire. Theme night a la maison!

♥Dayquil. Even better...Nyquil!

♥The sound, the smell, the cold crisp freshness of rain this time of year. Umbrella, schmumbrella!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

January is am I

I'm normally great at organizing my thoughts and making some sense of connection, practical application or meaning. Normally. Today I'm very far from that normal. Today I am jumbled up and randomly expressive. Here goes...

This week, I...

fell down. twice.

ate too much sushi.

emailed some truths.

emailed some fun.

flirted via text. plural like.

missed my momma...then drove to the airport to get her.

watched an entire season of a TV show on has TARA in the title!



acquired something illegally.

acquired something illegal.

dreamed of Seattle.

planned for Seattle.

quieted my mind.

stretched my body.

asked for what I needed.

made a promise.

wrote a poem.

listened to break up songs and realized there's no heartbreak left. whew!

raided a cherished friend's wardrobe.

forgave for no reason.

refused to forgive for good reason.

reached out here.

shut down there.

cried for sad and cried for glad.

cleaned, decluttered and donated.

finished an entire "to do" list.

accepted certain realities.

dreamed a brand new, bigger and better dream just for dreams' sake.

repaired a piece of furniture.

made kick ass own recipe!

got a package in the mail.

slept like a baby.

wished you were here.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Friday's Four Beauty-full Things...

♥Fog for my morning walk...insulating out all the noise and's like nature's hug.

♥Heart-shaped cinnamon waffles in the waffle iron making the house smell all home-y.

♥A wide open Friday ahead, ready to be filled with fun and adventure.

and a fourth for Friday...

♥A date tonight...dinner, movie, laughter and catching up...with my minis.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Lather, rinse, steps.

I have been invited today to the home of a dear friend. A dear friend who is off with her love, dancing in eternity. It is an invitation issued in loving kindness and generosity and I'm dragging my feet this morning. I miss her terribly but I smile when I think of thoughts have created her smiling, angelic and gossamer. Today I will be surrounded by so many physical reminders of her...some of which will come home with me. I'm a little afraid of this reality. My thoughts are so much kinder.

I came on here looking for distraction, for somewhere to be where this reality is so far away. Instead I'm here writing about it. Mainly because just when I thought I couldn't do this Herculean task today, my inbox disagreed with me.

The Universe sent this:

I understand, Tara, that you must wonder, sometimes to the point of bewilderment, at what you're truly capable of doing. Yet, therein lies the "problem," because living the life of your dreams is far more about what I'm capable of doing.

Surrender -

The Universe

PS. Tara, all I need from you is a vision, followed by an unending march of little, tiny baby steps in its direction

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Possibility, prosperity, celebration and CELEBRATION!

♥Random mystery text messages that turned into flirting...yay for FLIRTING!

♥Unexpected money. ALWAYS nice.

♥Dinner...sangria, new friends, old friends, discovered friendships, reminiscing and laughing and rejoicing.

And a fourth beauty-full thing today...separated by this sentence to avoid contaminating the above innocent beauty with the ick beauty of the following...

♥Struggling with wanting to reach out to SSDG (same shit different girl) but sighing and realizing that the beauty here is that my reality doesn't include SS any more and my reaching out is not only unnecessary but also futile and uninvited...and my own life deserves all of my energy without plugging in to outlets that simply drain without return. Bittersweet beauty-full. BEAUTY-FULL!!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Beauty in the New Year...

♥Nirvana...remember them...and all that angst?!?!?!

♥Genuine smiles...the ones you can feel coming at you like a laser beam.

♥Home. Sweet. Home.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Beauty early in the day...

♥Love for breakfast...

♥Puppy nose in the window waiting for my return...

♥A walk, a talk, advice and and tea, secrets, spirituality and a miniature tousled and tow-headed Hef doing science out of a workbook. Random and lovely.

Friday, January 1, 2010

2010: Carpe Diem and Moxie

2009 wasn't the easiest year.

Saying goodbye to 2009 felt good. It left the door wide open to saying hello to possibility.

2009 was no friend of mine. 2009 was a thorough teacher with tons and tons of lessons...a stern counselor who shines the light into all the emotional hidey holes...and even a wise but crotchety neighbor who bakes you sweets but doles out harsh, heartbreaking realities in a no frills tone at the same time. 2009 was those things for sure, but it was no friend. 2009 was devoid of those friend-ly moments where you feel like you're wrapped up in a great big hug, getting patted on the back for a job well done or invited in for a cup of cocoa on a comfy couch. 2009 was all harshness and fend-for-yourself-ness. 2009 was about living life like a chess game; staying four moves ahead to avoid being overcome. 2009 was struggles and races and climbing with no water breaks, manicures or pedicures. 2009 justified a sotto voce "bitch" as it sauntered out.

2009 caught me by surprise and left me no choice but to constantly scramble for solid footing.

2010 doesn't have that advantage. 2010 doesn't want it. 2010 feels warm and fuzzy already. I can't help but be grateful for the grit and moxie 2009 instilled that will help me appreciate and allow all the good things 2010 has to offer.

2010 is going to be ALL about hugs, cocoa and couches. 2010 is going to be about motion, connectedness and possibility. 2010 is going to be full of seizing the day and realizing the potential beauty all around.

Welcome, 2010. Let's do this, love.