One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi...

There have been tears and confusion and shouts and angry red moments at home, in the car, at work, in the kitchen, in the parking lot and in front of a judge. Finding beauty has been elusive...but it's there...

♥A phone call from the one person who instinctively knows EXACTLY what to say to make the fears simply dissipate. "It's in the day to day stuff that you're not thinking about that will make her miss and appreciate you." Sigh. "She's angry now but that will settle. You're afraid now and that will settle too." Sigh.

♥My momma who is willing to do scandalous clandestine ops when needed, no questions asked.

♥When male peacocks run across the road at dusk, they look like sea serpents crossing a black river. If the dusk sky is lavender, it looks like sea serpents in a fairy tale if fairy tales had sea serpents.

Note to Self

Deep breathe. In to the count of five, out to the count of ten.

Cry. Hard. Long. Sob and wail. Let it out.

Sleep.

Drink many steaming hot mugs of Chamomile tea...maybe with some fresh mint if possible.

Exercise. Sweat and move.

Wait.

Let the edges soften and fade out of focus.

Trust.

Once the anxiety passes, there will be space. Clear space where all of the answers seem like they were just waiting behind a hazy curtain for you to discover that they where there all along.

When the answers are clear, follow your instincts. Dismiss the fear of being unpopular or ineffective, too early or too late, imperfect or hypocritical.

Dismiss fear.

Let your instincts lead.

And remember...

Don't fight the fights that you can win, fight the fights that NEED FIGHTING.

Now, Tara...go get 'em, girl...and don't stop for anything other than balance, respect and fundamental goodness. It's out there. Really. Trust.

Do one thing every day that thrills you...

Lately, I have...

♥ adopted a surprise new "puppy"...hmmm...all 85 lbs of "puppy" :)

♥ learned a tough truth and lived thru it.

♥ owned my own shit...and my power too.

♥ celebrated 74 years of a love's life...and gotten a double bird behind the back for my efforts. Goodheartedly.

♥ made up some stories.

♥ shopped at the mall...and I hate Hate HATE to shop...but I loved this trip.

♥ gotten a BIG ole bonus for makin things happen.

♥ dug out some new flower beds and weeded the others...getting ready!

♥ gone topless...in the car. ;)

♥ bought wrinkle cream...why not?

♥ almost got caught with my hand in the cookie jar...and questioned my need for cookies.

♥ learned new eye makeup tricks...from Cher.

♥ copied my lovely's cajun lasagna...and rocked it!

♥ took a shower with the hairiest beast ever.

♥ made a new drink: 1 shot each of creme de menthe, godiva liqueur & vanilla vodka, shaken and served in a chocolate swirled martini glass. yummmmm...

♥ bought all 10 seasons of Friends. Yes, I buy my friends.

♥ ate fish & chips...with malt vinegar.

♥ fell in love with a wee little house that has a pair of palm trees and sits on the river bank. sigh.

♥ developed a girl crush on Megg.

♥ started boy child on the right path.

♥ drank an entire bottle of Gewurztraminer, a glass at a time with my mermaid soul sister...laughing and shrieking and telling secrets and truths.

♥ accepted certain inalienable truths...and life got wayyy easier.

♥ thought about you and smiled. Yes, David...you. ;)

♥ got enough sleep, ate well and took time to do nothing at all.