Monday, November 24, 2014


I want more twirling, glee filled enthusiastic bursts of carefree abandonment and complete presence in the bubbly~ness of the moment.

I want to balance that with an overarching ability to be more grounded and calm, to be more deeply connected to those around me. Roots, intertwined and making us stronger.

I want to make sure I am taking time to be awed and to be magical.

I want a broad shouldered sexy man with a lopsided grin who knows himself backward and forward and is not afraid to give of himself.

I want breath on the back of my neck in the wee hours of the morning that wakes me in a state of honor, bliss and anticipation.

I want my home to be more self sufficient both in care and cost so that I might be freer to roam.

I want to walk...walk...and walk some more...The Camino, Turkey, Scotland...and dancing at every destination my feet carry me to.

I want remembering...the deep kind that channels through me and gives my loves wings upon which to leave me and return at will. The remembering that allows us to be settled and confident in each journey.

I want the abundant self love that allows me to take the time and money to only nourish this body with what it truly needs from the inside out.

I want to respond to my four legged family's hopeful eyes with more leash time that earns me this inspirational love and loyalty they freely give so that I might be more like them.

I want a career detour that includes gathering and teaching and the patience for those details to work themselves out because right at this moment, the only knowing I have is that I have things to share that are worth sharing and a heart that is wide open ready for it.

I want restful nights, journal time, star gazing, giggles and circling with sister souls and joyful moments that stretch into days and months.

I want insular foggy mornings, salt water baths, cucumber mint water in mason jars, puddles and Wellies, rain that washes me clean and steamy mirrors to quench and blur the lines between my body of water and all others.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

For My Dad this Veteran's Day

If I could be with you today, it would be on a bench in a space specifically set aside, tended to and nurtured as a memorial. There would be a flag. There would be enough wind so that as we sat silently, we could hear its fabric song flapping softly.

I would hold your hand in both of mine, cradled in my lap. I would wonder where your thoughts were but wouldn’t burden you with my need to know. I would sit with you silently wondering how difficult your time serving our country was and how you managed to survive. I would be glad to hold you in that moment and be satisfied with the possibility of even a split second of peace in your soul that might come from that connection.

I wouldn’t be sure if my words should be that of thanks or apology so I would sit silently. I would wait for a cue or a sign or a sigh that might tell me which direction to go. I would hope to be a reprieve. To be a safe place. To be a confidante. To be brave enough to hear what you would finally share, knowing that I would gladly assume some of your burden if there was any possible way. I would hope that there was some sense to be made of your sacrifices.

I would send all of that to you through such a simple touch…and in that moment, everything would be okay.

It wouldn’t be a celebration, but it would be a beginning. I most mourn the loss of those beginnings.