Reposting, recycling, remembering...
Sometimes I meet people and literally can't wait to quit their company and other times people come along and we just meld into each other's lives smoothly, seamlessly. It's near impossible to put it into words...I tried and came up with this...
It's as if there are people-shaped holes in my life. Some people slip right into the hole that is shaped exactly like them. It's effortless. It was waiting just for them. Others float around and maybe slip an arm or leg into the wrong hole and then one day settle into their right hole. Another might try and try and float away...only to return and realize that their hole was the next one that they would have tried the last time. Other times no matter how much time and effort you put into trying to find the hole or how many angles you try each one in, there comes a time to realize that there simply is no hole shaped like that person. It might be worth a try to make them their own hole but usually the reason they have no preexisting hole becomes apparent and it's okay for them to float away. There are even times when people leave their perfectly shaped holes in my life...but they leave them full of memories that endure.
Each person has extreme value, even the ones who go away.
But this is about the ones who don't. This is about the one who fit right into the hole whose outline confused me with that mass of curls. This is about the one that confused me with her teeny-ness. This is about the child-sized ones and the kids who recognize our soul-bond and skip into their holes. This is about the holes that filled this past couple of years as I pulled my walls down brick by brick so that people could wander in. This is about newness and togetherness and support and FAMILY in a way that doesn't require DNA.
This is about an 8 year-old knowing exactly what language to speak so that my heart would hear and a traveler willing risk traffic to share a cup of coffee. This is about a new unexpected connection at a precarious holiday celebration. This is a little about crying and a lot about who hears. This is about what happens when you decide that alone is okay but lonely is not. This is about who gravitates your direction when you make that decision. About who is there.
Welcome to your you-shaped hole in my life. Thank you for finding it. I love you.
In the time that has passed since writing this, that 8 year old has grown into a lovely young lady who just recently blew me away with her ability to continue to speak from her soul...even more eloquently now. There have been periods of drifting between an essential lovely in my life followed by a much needed reunion. A love has left and the him shaped hole appears to have been a mirage. You have arrived, and I fell in love with you in the first moment I met you. I'm so happy to see you settle in for forever.
There have been so many changes, constants and chaotic melees in the past 3ish years. I've installed floor lights between those people shaped holes...for dancing.
Kick off your shoes. Take my hand. Let's boogie.