Sunday, June 6, 2010

Unreadable...unthinkable...unspeakable

I am so much more selfish than I ever thought I could admit. I'm crying today...grieving tears from missing that outing with a lovely, coffee with a witch, my garden, netflix on demand, hours with nothing to do and a convertible to do it in, long showers followed by naps, hikes before the sun gets too hot, spontaneous trips to swimming holes, my fridge full of yummy fresh groceries, my big cloud of a bed.

Me, the traveller, the gypsy hearted hippie...missing my things...and doing the tears of grief thing while my momma, one mile down the road, needs 24 hour care for the next month and cries real tears of physical pain.

So. Selfish.

And so lucky to have a mom.

And so lucky to have a life worth missing.

And still crying.

Geez.

3 comments:

  1. you are allowed to love your mother
    and miss your things at the same time.
    does not make you selfish or a bad person.
    only makes you human.

    be gentle
    sweet one,

    mccabe xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. my lovely one♥

    i have been trying,

    with all that is within me,

    to empty my tears,

    to wash away the grief,

    to understand the void,

    to quiet the sighs,

    to not feel so needy,

    to find the internal bliss that fills my soul

    with beautiful sparkly radiance♥

    am i feeling sorry for myself?

    am i releasing and letting go

    and just unfamiliar with the cleansing and

    purging of crap

    that i feel like i am a stranger

    in a strange land?


    i am trying to embrace this new place

    and

    ...just be

    …right here

    ....right now.


    i want to celebrate these tears,

    knowing they are serving me and healing my

    soul♥

    i want to embrace the journey with reckless

    abandon!

    i also want to be beyond this

    to play and giggle and shine

    and seek out planned mischief

    as well as unplanned adventures!!

    i am looking forward to

    river rituals

    heart talks

    crafting magic

    fairy dancing

    beach walks

    pirate treasures

    free hugs

    making our lists

    and experiencing some of it....

    together♥



    i am thankful for you♥

    my warrior friend

    so full of love♥

    and beauty

    and light♥

    and gorgeous colors

    that shine so bright and free!

    and

    for these little "things"

    that seem like big things

    that is causing my soul

    to grow and bloom♥

    ♥ you always

    ReplyDelete
  3. yessssssssssss! post this somewhere and print it BIG! remember every moment of every day that this writer of beauty~full life words is YOU! growth is painful and you are right where you are meant to be doing just what you are meant to be doing. you humble me with your sharing, im blessed to be part of your world. :)

    ReplyDelete