#31

I woke up almost on time...drove, flew and lightrailed it to the absolute center of Amazing. My lovely was on the ferry while I was on the train...and we met on a corner under towering old buildings topped with lions and arches and gargoyles. It was love at first sight in every direction. We found an Irish pub, Fado, and settled into a corner booth where we promptly lost ourselves in stories and laughter and Bloody Marys and Guinness and $12 shots of Jameson's and more laughter and more lovelies. Five and a half hours later, we left that place...and that place left me bursting with belonging and hope and happiness.

There was so much more after that pub...hiking the streets of Seattle, the market, the restaurant, the drinking. The ferry, the bar at the ferry station, the laughter that seemed to never take a break and didn't need to. The flirting and the silliness, the moments and jokes and absolute togetherness. The cabs and the clubs and the drinking and the dancing. The music and the awe of it all. The cuddling and the whispering, the silliness and the stopping. The pajamas and the slowness, the talking and the seeing. The pasta. The place. The belonging. The hope. The happiness. The unmistakable rightness of it all, even if just for that blink in time...before the reality outside could sneak back in.

Leaving was hard...I took a taxi, a ferry, a train, a plane and a car...all by myself...all filled up for the first time in a long time. Filled up with love and wonder and absolute all encompassing certainty that life is amazing. As each vehicle took me further away, my heart ached first more and more then less and less. The ache was because I was sure I was losing something by leaving...and it ebbed as I realized that I carry that something within me all the time. Leaving wouldn't be any kind of end...this something is everywhere, all the time.

I thought Seattle had been calling me for years to visit because it is fascinating and lovely and wondrous to see. Each year as I moved "visit Seattle" to the next year's to do list, I thought it was because I hadn't tried hard enough or made it a priority enough. What I know now is that Seattle wasn't the destination...it was just an amazing beautiful place for me to find amazing beauty in a blink of time that only existed right then, right there with the lovelies who created magic together. We created magic...and just because it's over doesn't mean it doesn't continue to leave it's mark. I'm marked for life, thank god.

Thank you, Seattle. Thank you Kathy. Thank you Lukas and Rachel and Tony. Thank you Zach.

I'm still in awe...