Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Janxy no more

Thirty minutes ago I was suffocating. Couldn't breathe. Anxiety was creeping up the back of my neck, tightening the muscles and stealing my breath. I went outside, barefoot where I could tip my head back, focus on the sky and the grass and reconnect. The humidity stole my resolve. Surrounding me were obligations that I brought on myself but are stealing my serenity.

Still. Couldn't. Breathe.

I came back inside, read a bit but couldn't focus. Cleaned the house but felt the tightening creeping back up my neck. Took some action, however small...and felt the tears brimming behind my eyelids nonetheless.

Still. Couldn't. Breathe.

Then I heard it. Thunder in the distance, mirroring the thunder in my heart and mind and soul. I opened the nearest window and found that the incoming storm had sucked all of the humidity into the clouds, preparing for a downpour. My tears went too. My contribution to the upcoming storm.

All of the sudden, I could breathe.

It's truly amazing what little thing can change the course of an entire experience...and there is no predicting what that little thing might turn out to be.

This storm is magnificent.

1 comment:

  1. A good cry is healthy. TJ, you are the strongest of women I know. But you don't always have to be sweets. Let go and let your friends carry you. It's gonna be alright.