I've been writing lists
but never keeping score
of anything for anyone
at least not that I'll admit...
lists that limit and lists that organize
musts and hopes and needs and more.
Lists that remind
lists that tell stories
and lists that tell lies
about a life
with no distinguishable reason or rhyme.
I'm so tired of these lists.
Tired of maintaining
a farce of pretense, subterfuge and resiliency
all part of being this grown-up
who has got all the answers like
bright colored balloons
tied up in a ribbons of capability.
I wanna let go
and let the answers fly free
far away and not worry
about how those bits of
latex, truth and lies
affect the balance of nature
the endangered birds or the killer bees.
They affect MY balance
it has to be about
this individual, alone
and a screw-up for nature
can be a right-on for nurturing
a single soul.
~Tara Jane Watkins, flu induced poetry 10/21/10