What I Trust

Some fights need fighting regardless of the expected outcome.

Being kind matters more than being right.

Being kind does not mean being a doormat and sometimes for good to be done, justice is required.

It's my privilege and responsibility to keep my space sacred.

The formula to peace is simple: Pure intention + solid integrity + transparency - fear = Peace.

Integrity is doing the right thing for the sake of doing the right thing, without attachment to the outcome.

Dogs have perfected unconditional love.

Truth emerges no matter what, so it's such a time-saver to lead with it...and if you doubt truth is what you're getting, just be patient.

The glass house saying is so very true and wise.

An extra moment to be mind~full is a wise investment of time.

Bible stories have stuck around this long because the lessons are ones we crave.

There are movies and songs that have taught me more than some of my Master's level college courses ever did...so I keep watching and listening.

Being me is enough. If if it seems like it isn't, it still is. In hindsight, I've been at my best at times when I thought I was totally broken, messy and unworthy.

Sometimes the best cure is any of these: a solid chunk of sleep, a walk in nature, bare feet in the grass, flip flop tan lines, hot tea, fuzzy socks, a baby's laugh, a picnic or serving someone else.

When in doubt, waiting is fine. If someone or something can't wait when you feel the need to then waiting is even more surely the right thing to do.

We are defined by our choices, in what we feel and how we think and what we consume therefore our choices should be thought~full.

2012

Be pure in your intentions.

Be solid in your integrity.

Be completely transparent.

Don't let fear guide a single decision.

This is my recipe for twenty~twelve.

No more. No less.

Gotye said it best...

it wasn't because you became unattractive.
it wasn't because you were mean when it wasn't necessary.
it wasn't because you didn't pay enough attention.
it wasn't because we never really had a song.
it wasn't because of her or her or her or her.
it wasn't because of the way you drove or took too big of bites.
it wasn't because all of your friends were jackasses.
it wasn't because you were an ass when you drank.
it wasn't because you were alternately standoffish and needy.
it wasn't your mommy or daddy or baby momma issues.
it wasn't where you lived or what you did for a living.

it was how I felt about me for having someone like you in my life.
it was how I disappeared so that you could grow larger than life.
it was how celebratory I felt when your influence was gone.

and today it was how peaceful it felt to answer "just somebody that I used to know."

carry on...

6 aborted text messages

1000 wtf moments

3 u-turns

1 frantically placed "please let me talk this out" call

8 minutes in front of the robed man

1 right hand in the air

1 gavel crack

9 years of uncertainty done

and while I'm elated in some ways, this feels like equal portions of victory and defeat.

the big message is: Tara, your worries really ARE a big deal, you ARE on the right track and this entire state agrees with what you're saying...an ENTIRE STATE. that's good enough for me.

Thank~full for...

♥ an early Thanksgiving with comfortable cuddly comedy and camaraderie...family to me only by the bond of love...and what a great way to be family.

♥ no cooking, no cleaning...me and my boy at the casino buffet where there were all the traditional foods plus crab legs...SCORE!

♥ a weekend of cuddling in my bed with my babygirl for a marathon of Vampire Diaries behind a closed door...and on the other side of that door, a house full of rambunctiousness.

There ARE beauty~full things every day...

it just took me almost 4 months to remember to see them. That's approximately 120 days of beauty~less~ness.

I locked this personal, sacred space of mine down as a fear reaction. Four months ago I lost my way. I knew it. I didn't like it. But fixing it meant trying to negotiate my way along an unfamiliar, overgrown path on a moonless night. With snakes. The thing that I forgot is: I am not afraid of snakes. I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm not afraid of moonless nights. I forgot that I'm not afraid, period.

I'm brave. Today I remembered that. It took time and it took patient angels. The result is this. Today I open my heart and I invite you in. I open my personal, sacred space and ask only this: Stay, curl up with me and my words and lets weave something amazing together in this bit of space and time. Have positive intentions. If you feel so inclined, let me know you stopped by. Challenge me if you disagree. Gently move on if this space and your energy are not a match. Get to know me. Smile a secret smile if you already do. Trust me. Keep smiling if that already applies. Smile some more, just for the hell of it.

This is me being brave, and I thank you for reading. For being a patient angel. For smiling.

One beauty~full thing for each of the past four months:

♥ A moment so staggering that it necessitated the spinning of a cocoon...but a cocoon means that some other season sees a butterfly. Wings, baby. Wings.

♥ A move, a moving out and moving on....my baby girl off to college and on to the next stage of her amazing adventure.

♥ A long holiday weekend off work and surrounded by love...followed by a long holiday from worry in the most important area of my life...and all the positive changes that came along with that.

♥ A single cold and wet day perfect for breaking out the tall boots and a long scarf. An umbrella. The heater. Down comforters. One day was enough...for now.

Three Beauty~Full Freedoms

♥a home...with the freedom to be here or be away from here for as much or as little as I want but still have special space that is all mine.

♥a profession...with the freedom to maintain it or change it or even leave it completely to do something entirely different but no matter what, do what brings me joy.

♥a tribe of lovelies...with the freedom to be me, magnificent or messy as I might be at any given moment and still be loved.