The One That Got Away

Dear The One Who Got Away,

It kind of sounds like I had you shackled in my basement, doesn't it?

You are my "One That Got Away" not because you were my great love or because there was some amazing future to be had by us as a couple. You are my "One That Got Away" because YOU left ME. That was a first for me. Confusing. Humbling. Ridiculous. And you left me for HER. Pfft.

I'm writing you this love letter to say thank you. Thank you for getting away. Thank you for leaving me. Thank you for leaving me for HER.

I needed some humbling. I needed some lessons. I needed a great opportunity to handle myself with grace and class. With your loving behavior through those worst of times, I emerged able to hold my head up high.

Fifteen years later, the lessons are so clear. Fifteen years later, I'm still able to smile about the time together without there being a pallor dulling things down even one notch.

Dear The One Who Got Away, I know you loved me with all you had in you back then. I know you followed your heart and it's taught me to trust...instead of the opposite. I trust everyone, all the time. I trust for a multitude of other reasons but also I trust that people will do what is right for them in the moment. I trust that I attract strong people who are capable of hurting someone else if it's the best choice in the long run. I trust that when we peaked, it was good. It was the kind of good that brings back a smile fifteen years later.

I didn't learn to run and shut down when you did the loving thing and let me go. I learned that sometimes, no matter how hard I want something, the intuitive level must be trusted.

Love Letter to a Lime Tree

Dear Keffir Lime Tree,

I want you to know that you are where you are ON PURPOSE. I thought about you. I researched you. I called and arranged your delivery. I picked you up and nestled you into my car. After all of that, I delivered you and lovingly placed you into a new set of hands. You'll be cared for well. Very well. You will be fed and watered and admired. There will be worms and mulch and I couldn't do it better myself. You will be useful and you will bring joy.

You represent to me my ability to rise above circumstance. You proved to me that I am capable of letting go. You showed me that I can be completely unselfish and not be attached to an outcome...but that I can imagine and celebrate something that I won't have even a slight glimpse of. Something that for so long was tainted.

I sent you to a place to be with a person I can't be with...in a place that needed to stop having any meaning at all to me. I sent you to grow and fulfill your greatest potential, whatever it is. I sent you because I need to believe in potential.

Your purpose is already fulfilled.

The rest is bonus.

Thank you.

Love letter to me

I am participating in 40 days of Love Letter writing. Today's prompt is to write a love letter to yourself. Here goes...

Dear Tara,

I hope you take a moment in your favorite reality to read this. Brew some hibiscus tea. Put on fuzzy socks. Turn on some Sinead Lohan. Burn some incense and turn on the twinkle lights. You're pretty cool, you know.

You've been through a lot lately. Big changes. Adjustments of enormous proportions. It was kind of nice to see you finally lose your shit over the past few weeks. It's even nicer to see you balanced and twirling again. Hopeful. Optimistic.

You're kind of in a pickle these days with work and home and all those changes and adjustments. I heard a quote today that made me think of your situation. "It isn't easy but it IS simple." I see you working your way back to simple and I have to say that after all of these years knowing you, simple really really works for you. I'm rooting for you to get there, to simple again.

You are pretty, intelligent, fun and funny. You're a loyal friend and so very aware of your baggage. You're considerate and you have pretty good morals. Your baggage gets in your own way sometimes and at times you are curt or overly abrupt as a result...but you're extremely reliable for knowing when you're doing it and calling it what it is. When you're ready to be a bit softer, there are people waiting to get closer to you. In your own time, love. In your own time.

You worked very hard for the career you have, and it's inspiring to see how you took your natural gifts and found a way to have someone hand over money for it. Stop thinking you're tricking them, what you do has great value. I called them gifts because that is exactly what they are...you give so much and it comes from a deep well of specialness that is there because of who you are. Trust it. Trust it more. Trust it always.

There isn't much room in a love letter to tell you things that you need to change...but love isn't all about what is right and perfect. Sometimes love is about saying that tough thing that needs to be said. So here goes. I know you've been a little lonely lately. I know you cry. I know you want. I also know that you're a little scared...for good reason. But the tough truth is that you will continue to be lonely until you decide to stop being scared. People will lie, people will be insensitive, people will be selfish. But you're people too, and you do those things also. You want to be loved and brought in close...so do they. I told you earlier that there are people waiting to get close to you and it's perfectly fine to do it in your own time...but I see you suffering. I have to ask: what will it take for your want to be stronger than your fear? Can you start small? Can you start now? You can handle ANYTHING. Take some chances. I've got your back. Delve into your reasons, I'll catch you.

On that note, with that one area as an exception, you are resourceful, imaginative, creative and adventurous beyond belief.

Go get em, Tiger.

PS. Spend more time in fuzzy socks.