Ick, reversed.

Yesterday, I...

¿had a collision while driving, my mustang vs. bike rider on meth (HE hit ME and begged me to not call the cops, between threats of throwing his bike at me and calling ME a crazy bitch).

¿lost two hens to a chicken hawk and have one remaining, very traumatized, hen left.

¿was bitten by a little dog, hard...on the arm for trying to stop her fight with the other little dog.

BUT! I also...

♥got to see my lovely...my mermaid soul sister...catch up & smile.

♥was bestowed generous gifts that I then paid forward.

♥sat and created for hours...know what all my peeps are getting for Christmas this year! ;)

Monday Funday

♥A nap in the sun after a busy morning running, running & running some more.

♥Being capable, replumbing the irrigation lines all the way from the water main and having the water guy say "grown men can't do what you just did...and in a dress!"

♥A package full of smiles and love and dreams and possibility and wishes and...and...and...things there aren't words for!

Father's Day

Dad,

Seven years ago the scene in my kitchen was love and laughter sprinkled with excitement and adventure. I had just turned 32, your grandchildren were 10 and 8 1/2 years old. They were still young enough that cooking was mysterious...amazed that simple ingredients turned into mouth-watering deliciousness...and sending packages in the post was even more mysterious. Ashleigh said to me "you just put that little sticker on it and the mailman knows where to drive it to?" They tested those cookies we baked...the interesting combinations...walnut peanut butter chip and white chocolate cinnamon. Unusual and perfect for you. They labeled the bags in their precise grade-school penmanship and packaged them with care, insisting that we include some of the cherries from the trip to the Farmer's Market that morning. I sent it overnight mail and when you got them, we laughed about how the cookies came in crumbs...delicious crumbs!

We were planning a camping trip to the redwoods in a couple of months' time, emails flying back and forth and anticipation building daily. I had no clue that it was to be my last Father's Day with you. I had no clue that in a month's time you would be gone and the Redwoods would still be waiting. I had no clue that the memories we were making that day in the kitchen over your cookies would become so bittersweet.

Our history is fragmented but each piece of the puzzle was necessary for us to put together such a lovely picture in the end. I spent the first three years of my life adoring you, the next 15 pining for you followed by 11 resenting and rejecting you...coming full circle to the last three adoring you once again.

I'm so glad you never gave up, despite my sometimes harsh words and judgmental attitude. You taught me that patience and tenacity, you know. That and so much more. You came into your art late in life, paving the way for me to do the same. You used your words generously, intelligently while humbly allowing room for mistake...laughing at yourself before anyone else could. I follow your lead daily. You walked through this life at your own rhythm, being human and allowing that the guidelines for how to live a "right" life were simply that, guidelines. You were brave with your scars, making them visible as much as possible...knowing that the effort it took was what would save your life every day. You allowed me to come into your life as a mostly formed adult and when you fell in love who I was, I fell in love with me too. I hope it was the same for you. You strove to be simple in action but complex in mind. I see you in your grandchildren and know that I am teaching them your gifts. They were many, those gifts...and I miss you every day. I see you sometimes...in a sunrise or how the wind sounds...when the moths hatch each year or when I see a Golden Retriever...especially one that knows how to smile. Mostly I feel you. I know when you're laughing at me and it makes me comfortable in my own skin. I know when you're rolling your eyes and pushing me to lighten up. I usually do, don't I? There are a million things that let me know you're here and today I'll be dancing in my living room to Eric Burdon and the Animals...being lighthearted and grateful for those last three years...paying homage to you in the only way the feels right. By moving, being playful and letting the past guide the moment.

I miss you, Dad.

Friday's Four Beauty-full Things...

♥never knowing what I might run across in momma's cabinets...seriously, I get to drink my coffee out of a mug with a chick playing a cello on it...EVERY MORNING.



♥puppy nose...temporary visitor.



♥trying out the tattoo I've been wanting...bday list item #13...one week from today it will be real ink instead of sharpie!



♥Da girlz...

Thursday's Three...Beauty~FULL!

♥Making plans...hope and heart~full wishes...possibility and dropping the wall that isn't serving any positive purpose anymore...if it ever was.

♥My youngest...my baby...behind the wheel...giddy and getting his confidence.

♥A friend with a belly full of butterflies...let 'em fly, girl!

39 by 40

For nine years I have done my "Birthday List" in secret, tucked away in a journal, written in rainbow ink or on a candy wrapper...put together in pieces as inspiration strikes or adventure calls. This year, these things are calling for company. This year I want to laugh and dance my way through the list with my lovelies. This year I want to make memories and share experiences...to veer off on spontaneous adventures not listed below and revel in the beauty of it all...together!

My list 39 things to do by the time I turn 40, one year from today...

39. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. *
38. Do a Free Hugs Day *
37. Get my passport *
36. Learn to play poker *
35. Mad Hatter Tea Party *
34. Read a classic *
33. Try Bikram Yoga *
32. Learn to play one song on the guitar *
31. Visit Seattle, tourist style *
30. Finish thesis *
29. Do the graduate walk complete with hood *
28. Build a pergola on the back patio and plant wisteria
27. Start Lifecoach training
26. Read up on Autism
25. Go on a photo adventure
24. Drive a lotus
23. Paint a lotus
22. Go to a concert
21. Go to an Irish wedding and/or wake...in Ireland
20. Visit the lavender farm and buy plants
19. Do Bidwell Park's guided owl hike
18. Photo session (dreaming of Boho Girl)
17. Have family portraits done
16. Go on a helicopter ride
15. Buy a superhero necklace...Joy
14. Keep up with writing to Shaleen
13. Get that snail tattoo
12. Spend a day alone at the beach
11. Take a road trip with my babygirl
10. Spend a day in bed watching old movies
9. Visit glass beach with my lovely mermaid soul sister (tj i ♥ you)
8. Camp at Fall River
7. Take a road trip to a small town and find its amazing~ness
6. Bubble bath in a clawfoot tub
5. Keep the garden going year round
4. Spend a night in the highest treehouse in Cave Junction
3. Visit the Dread Goddess
2. Live it up on Halloween
1. Learn to use that dehydrator

Any takers?

Laughing, jumping, go-go-go

♥Being so tired that everything is silly.

♥A waterfall fed swimming hole on the edge of a cliff...nature's majesty that no resort can duplicate.

♥Hitting the "to do" list steadily; that feeling of accomplishment and productivity.